Radio personality, Dr. James Dobson, has said that young men, as they mature to manhood have to "kill their mothers". Not physically, of course, but emotionally.
My husband and I have two daughters and two sons and I did not like it at all when my sons went through this process. In fact, I put up quite a fight as they figuratively threw punch after punch trying their best to "do me in" and become self-sustaining and autonomous men. Once they had left me in a heap, they were ready to take on the world!
Sons have a special place in the heart of a mother. While I never quite understood the fascination with gross things, baseball cards, or swinging a bat, I loved having my boys around. They were always full of spirit and their sweetness reminded me of the love I had for their father. But, what little understanding I had of the male mind became stretched thin when they both reached age sixteen or so. Those sweet young things had minds of their own and really didn't want to do everything that I told them to do, dress how I wanted them to dreess, act like I wanted them to act, believe what I wanted them to believe, and go where I wanted them to go.
It was hard for me to understand why they didn't want to be mama's boys their entire lives. It could have been fun....I could have had my own little fleet of servants minding my every wish. They could have catered to my every whim and I would have been satisfied...????? Truly, they had to do it. They had to "kill" my dominance in order to lead their own healthy adult lives.
Now, many years after the fact, I enjoy the men my sons have become. They are confident and able members of society and I am thankful that, while they honor me as their mother, they really don't need me to function successfully in their lives.
Maybe that is not entirely true. Maybe they do still need me.....They need me to be on their side and to encourage them whenever I can. They need to know that I care deeply about what happens to them. They need to have the example that only I can give them of a mother who constantly prays for them and asks God the Father in heaven to bless and keep them every moment of their days. They need to see in me an example of the mercy and grace that God gives them. They need to know that I am proud of them and that they still give me great delight. They need to be able to watch me finish my walk of life well. Most of all, they need to know that my love for them never changes and that they will be loved with an everlasting love until my dying breath! They also need to know that my love for them is simply a shadow, a dim reflection of the love that God has for them!
The prayer that I pray today for my grown sons is....
"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk jumbly with your God." Micah 6:8
Have a good day! Love, Sue
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