Bergen's Birth

    Two days ago we welcomed our seventh grandchild into the world!   After over 35 hours of labor,  4 hours of pushing, and an emergency c-section, our youngest child, Rachel and her husband Christopher now had a sweet little family of three!!!

    More than just the trauma of a difficult birth to deal with though, within seconds after being born, little Bergen Susan was struggling to breathe and had a very low Apgar score.  (In simple terms, this score measures the overall health of the baby immediately after birth.  A low Apgar indicates problems.)  The doctors and nurses and Chris made the decision to send the baby by ambulance to the University of Minnesota Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and put her on a cooling bed for 72 hours.  As far as I can tell, this procedure was instituted to give her little body time to heal from the intensive trauma.   Within that first hour of life, Bergen was packed tightly into a special ambulance carrier that looked like a plastic cage.

    Unfortunately, other than a glimpse of her unresponsive baby as the nurses rushed past her,  Rachel became unaware of what was happening to her baby.  Due to complications that occurred during the c-section,  Rachel began to shake uncontrollably and the doctors immediately put her under general anesthesia in order to complete sewing her back together.

    When all was ready with Bergen, the nurses wheeled her special ambulance basket over to the side of the bed so that a very, very groggy and overwhelmed mommy could say both hello and possibly goodbye to her new little girl.

    During the interim of time between the birth and taking the baby to the NICU,   Christopher was faced with the heart wrenching dilemma  of whether he should leave his very weak and traumatized wife or ride in the ambulance across the city with his struggling new daughter.  Fortunately, he had the presence of mind to call Rachel's only sister who lived just a few minutes away from the hospital and ask her to come in the middle of the night to stay with Rachel.  That sounds like a fairly easy solution but it was  a huge hurtle to cross in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic.  One of Rachel's doctors went out on a limb for them, fought hard against regulations and obtained permission for Sarah to come to the hospital.

    Sarah was uniquely qualified to be the one to stay with with her baby sister.  She was fourteen years  older and had always been both a kind of second mother as well as being a sister to Rachel.  The mother of four children, she had always been able to put her deep emotions aside while evaluating and dealing with problems.  In a crisis, her pragmatism has helped her and those around her find solutions to overwhelming challenges.  Sarah held her emotions in check until later when she told me that it almost broke her heart to watch Chris have to make his very first decision as a father be such a hard and impossible one.  She was also amazed at his strength of character in the midst of this crisis.  

     Sarah stayed in the room with Rachel who gradually recovered from the anesthesia and woke up to the unfathomable thought that her brand new baby was in crisis in another hospital.  The excruciating physical pain that she was experiencing in her body became a distraction that helped keep her mind away from the horror of her new reality.

     As of this writing, Rachel was moved by ambulance to the same hospital as Bergen and Rachel has begun the upward struggle of healing.  She has begun using a breast pump to give colostrum to the nurses who insert it into Bergen's feeding tube.  Bergen's vital signs have improved but Rachel and Chris  have to wait for another day and a half for the doctors give Bergen an MRI to determine whether or not she has any brain damage.  In the meantime they get to observe their truly beautiful baby through the glass, hold her little hand and pray for a good outcome.

     As the mother of Rachel and grandmother of  little Bergen I must confess to a crisis of faith.  Why would God allow this perfectly formed and healthy baby to have such a rough start and potentially have to deal with totally avoidable outcomes for the rest of her life?  Why would He allow my daughter to have to have such a disastrous experience giving birth in what should have been a  time of wonderful blessing?   Why would he deny both Rachel and Chris the opportunity to experience that amazing satisfaction, joy, and overwhelming love that washes over you when you first hold your newborn to your chest?  Why would He allow all of this to happen during a pandemic where all the rules have been changed and Rachel and Chris are thus denied the support of their loving families  gathering around them ?  

    Truth be told, I have not had any great revelations.  The only thing that has come to me is  to try and answer the questions, "Why not me?  Why not mine?"  We live in a sinful, fallen world and no one is given a free pass from trials and sufferings in this life.  As Christians we are promised that the Lord will be near us in every situation.  He has promised that He will give grace, mercy, and strength when you have to have it. 

    Too many times I expect God to let me live a perfect life where nothing ever goes wrong, everyone makes perfect decisions and everyone is happy all of the time! There is one glaring problem with this type of "la-la land" existence,  There is no growth and depth of character,  There is no testing to strengthen your faith, and there is no deep seated satisfaction from watching and experiencing the miracles and blessings that happen in the midst of trials.

    One of the things that I have learned as a mother and a grandmother is this:  I would rather personally suffer a great deal of pain and heartache than watch my children and grandchildren have to experience any degree of discomfort.  My adult children have all had times where they have been crushed and defeated.  It always, always, always breaks my heart to watch them suffer.  My desire is to just step in and take any and all pain away!!!!  But, I have to let them grow in their own  lives so that the Lord God Almighty can speak directly to them and give them mighty and strong hearts filled with wisdom, understanding, and compassion.

    When I was a young Christian, song writer Andre Crouch came out with a song that became very popular.   The words go like this:

                 I've had many tears and sorrows, I've had questions for tomorrow,

                 There's been times I didn't know right from wrong

                 But in every situation God gave blessed consolation that my trials
                  come to only make me strong!

                                               Through it all, through it all,

                                                I've learned to trust in Jesus

                                                I've learned to trust in God!

                                                Through it all, through it all,

                                                I've learned to depend upon His Word!

                   I thank God for the mountains and I thank God for the valleys

                   I thank God for the storms He's brought me through

                   For if I'd never had a problem,
                   I wouldn't know that He could solve them.

                   I wouldn't know what faith in God could do!

                                                 Through it all....

                                                                      Have a good day!


"The Lord is good,  a stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge in Him!"  Nahum 1:7

  Psalm 34, Psalm 30

Another great song is the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness".....
         "Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
          Great is Thy Faithfulness Lord unto me."

    P.S.  Although we are still waiting, I truly believe that Bergen will be fine!!!