"Oooohhhh Grandma!" Terrified sounds from the backseat were increasing as my own fears threatened to overwhelm me. Rain thundered down on the windshield while the wipers struggled in a losing battle to keep up. No longer able to see, I said, "It's O.K. Sweetheart......I'll just pull over to the side of the road for a minute." As I slowly tried to find the edge of the road without driving into the ditch I contemplated the ridiculousness of our plight.
Of all the people to be with me in this situation! Selma at six years old had been battling an unreasonable fear of bad weather for years now. It had started about two years before when she was staying overnight at a friend's house. That evening a bad storm came and she was petrified. Not only was she already trying to be a "big girl" and be without her mommy for the night but then had come a real threat and she had crumbled in fear.
She survived but began to develop a habit of looking at the sky in the morning to determine her mood for the day. All it took was a cloud on the horizon for her severe weather alert system to be turned on. She would then need calming assurances of safety throughout the day. Today she had bravely balanced her desire to go to our house with her fears and her trust in me had won the battle.
Now, the wisdom of that decision was being challenged....
Truthfully, I was struggling with my own questions of wisdom at the moment. What in the world was I thinking? A few days before I had decided that it would be a good idea to take our dog and our three chickens with me to Minneapolis to visit our children and grandchildren. My husband was out of town so there was nobody around to feed them and I had the "great" idea that the grandchildren might have fun caring for them. It hadn't quite worked out the way I had envisioned. Selma's cats, the dog and the chickens had developed an uneasy truce after a few initial skirmishes. Though I was glad to finally take them all back home, it had meant stuffing our large pit bull into the front seat of the my little white Nissan Maxima, Selma, her suitcase, her car seat, and a power washer into the backseat, and our two grown chickens and our annoying, crowing rooster into the trunk. Our daughter, Sarah, had laughingly looked at our full car and said we looked like Ma and Pa Kettle going down the street.
Now, here we all sat waiting for the storm to stop. Selma crying, the dog barking, the chickens clucking and crowing and me wondering what would happen if for some reason we had to stand by the side of the road and wait for help. I imagined a drenched grandma, a curly blond haired girl sobbing silently, an extremely wet, agitated dog sniffing around a crate full of noisy chickens. I envisioned the questioning stares from the people in the passing cars as they looked at our pathetic little group staring forlornly back at them!
Fortunately, that didn't happen and after a few stops and starts we began to make our way home. The two and a half hour drive turned into a five hour nightmare but we made it there and we all survived. We tumbled out of the car in relief, even the chickens happily strutted around the yard for a bit before we had to corral them back into their chicken coop.
That evening I tucked a calm and peaceful Selma into bed and then sank into my own bed with relief and an acute sense of the my own incredible foolishness. But, we had faced the storm and come through to the other side......And I ....was much, much wiser than before!
These days when the corona virus is terrifying the world and a very real and palpable fear exists in the hearts of many, I have been thinking a lot about fear and trust and wisdom. I have many, many stories about what fear has produced in my life because I have struggled, like Selma used to, with both real and imagined fears all of my life. What I cling to most of all in my most terrifying times is found in Isaiah 41:10. "Fear not, for I am with you. Be not afraid for I am your God. I will strengthen you and I will keep you in my victorious right hand!"
Have a good day! Love, Sue
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