Ugly Monster

UGLY MONSTER

Recently, I viewed a perfect picture of a secondary offense. This kind of offense occurs when someone you love is adversely affected by the words or actions of another and you become angry for them. It is an insidious and rotten kind of interaction because it has no personal basis.


I was reminded of a time when I took on a secondary offense. An old friend of ours, George, (not his real name} believed a lie told to him about my husband. At the time, George had been a close personal friend for about fifteen years. The person telling the lie was a fairly new acquaintance. Unfortunately, George chose to believe the man and my husband, rightly so, was insulted. This put a damper on their relationship.


When my husband told me of his problem with George, I got mad. I didn't just get mad, I got furious. It became an impossible situation because George's wife was one of my closest friends and I was unable to be around either of them without feeling agitated inside. Since we were all part of the same group of friends, I was agitated a lot.


This went on for about two years. Shortly before we were scheduled to move out of state, George came to my husband and apologized. The other man had been found to be a liar and George realized what he had done. My husband and George had a heart to heart talk and they each asked for, and received, forgiveness from each other. Their relationship was restored and all was well. They were once again dear friends.


There was one problem though. Me. I still had the anger I felt toward George for his “perceived” betrayal of my husband. My anger became a horrible poison to my soul and followed me to our new home. I unrealistically blamed George for the problems I encountered there. I let my anger towards him permeate every aspect of my life and it grew and grew into an ugly monster within me.


One afternoon, I had had it. I sat down at my kitchen table and wrote an eight page, single spaced letter to George reciting every wrong that I thought he had ever done to me or to my family. Anger spurred my pen on and I began to feel justified in my displeasure. I planned to put him in his place. I hoped that I would be set free by exposing him and all that he had done. Eventually, I was finished. I laid my pen down. I was exhausted emotionally.


I picked up the letter that had so filled my mind and as I read it back to myself, a strange thing happened. Sure, George had initially wronged my husband but as I continued to read I began to realize that he had never intentionally done so. Plus, he had never wronged me in any way. I realized that he had always been loving and kind towards me.


I began to get an unwelcome feeling inside my heart that by allowing my anger for George to so consume me for two years that I had sinned against him and pretty soon I was crying out to God for forgiveness. After a time, I felt spent and all of the anger that had welled up within me before was miraculously gone! I lifted my head from the table where it rested and as I did so I had a firm conviction that I needed to confess my sin to George.


So, I reached for the phone and called him. Amazingly, he answered right away and I spent a few minutes asking his forgiveness for the specific ways that I had sinned against him. He was able to understand completely and said that he forgave me. He did not ask for my forgiveness because truthfully, he had never harmed me personally and had already dealt with any wrong of his toward my husband. He was gracious and kind. We ended the phone call in a warm manner and were once again friends.


My emotions were no longer bound up with anger and vengeance. I was peaceful and content. All was well. The next time I saw both George and his wife we were back to our old footing of friendship. This says a great deal about the kind of wonderful people that they had always been!


This episode was a major teaching point in my life and continues to speak to me today. Beware of taking on emotional baggage for another person even if it is a beloved child, husband, family member or friend. When someone sins against you forgive them, deal with it and go on your way. Don't let anger or bitterness rule in your heart because the only one that it will truly destroy is……. you!


“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses (sins). But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” Mark 11: 25-26


Later it says…”Confess your sins one to another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” James 4:7-10, James 5:16


Have a good day! Love, Sue

I Love This Place!

My family and I used to live in North Bend, Washington.  North Bend was, and maybe still is, just about the perfect place to live.  It is nestled between the majestic peaks of the Cascade Mountain Range and the foothills that lead into Seattle.  We resided in a house featuring the 4000 ft. peak of Mt Si filling the expanse of our large picture window.  Every morning we looked out at that great view with amazement.  Two blocks away down a tree lined drive was the fast moving Snoqualmie River with its boulders, eddies, and rapids.  Immediately on the other side of the river the base of Mt. Si began and drew your view ever upward.  The Snoqualmie River wound it's  way three miles downriver and rushed over the Snoqualmie Falls.  This waterfall is one of the main tourist sights in Washington, as it is higher than Niagra Falls and well worth the visit.

We used to feel that we had the best of both worlds because our house sat at both the edge of the wilderness and near to city life.  Traveling down Interstate 90 for 30 minutes brought us to downtown Seattle with the Space Needle and the Public Market to wander around in on a sunny afternoon.

Most weekends found our little family enjoying some aspect of the great Northwest.  On a Saturday we could easily drive somewhere less than two hours away and experience something totally different than what we were used to in our daily life.  If we missed playing in the snow, we would drive up to Snoqualmie Pass, a half hour away, and go sledding or skiing for the afternoon.  Then we would return home, the kids would take off all of their snow boots, pants, mittens and gloves and run outside to the green grass and play catch until nightfall.

Or, if we missed being on the water, we would hurry over to the Puget Sound and take a ferry ride to the Olympic Peninsula.  Sometimes, on a very clear day, while the ferry chugged along we would gaze at the immense vision of Mt. Rainier filling the sky while we fed the seagulls endlessly.

Before Christmas each year we would cross Steven's Pass and visit the winter wonderland and idyllic village called Leavenworth.  The Bavarian theme to that small town with its restaurants and stores always made us feel like we were characters in a dreamlike movie.

We spent hours and hours and hours exploring this wondrous place that we called home.  We hiked in the mountains finding seven waterfalls within an hour's drive of our home and we went to the numerous interesting places that dot the landscape around the Sound.  We picked blueberries that were over an inch in diameter (I measured) and strawberries the size of small apples (I have pictures).  Every spring we'd walk through the University of Washington Arboretum and smell the intoxicating fragrance permeating the air from the azaleas and rhododendrons that towered over us.  We would always make sure that we enjoyed the tulip fields of Mount Vernon and we attended numerous Mariners baseball games at the old King Dome.

We went to a church that encouraged us and had many friends that we loved like family.  All in all, every member of our family loved living the life that we had there.  Besides all of this, we had no screens on our windows because there were very few bugs!!!!

It was an amazing place to live and I am exceedingly thankful that I was able to spend a part of my life there!!!  I love that place! 

Psalms 8:1   "Oh, Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!"
                                                                   
                                                                 Have a good day!  Love, Sue

Appearances Can Be Deceiving

"No!"  That single word expressed so much.  My three year old granddaughter, Selma, stood in front of her mommy, chubby little hands placed firmly on her hips, glaring eyes flaming with defiance.  "No!"  She cried.  With that, she stuck out her tongue and stomped away!

Selma looked like a little angel.  Curly white blond hair perfectly framed her big blue eyes.  Often she wore cute little outfits that made her look like a princess.  As she walked past, random people would reach out and try to pat her hair or poke each other and smile at the picture she presented.  Absolutely every time they would go out someone would comment on her hair or how sweet she looked.  That was the word most commonly used to describe this little munchkin....."Oh, how sweet!"

Unfortunately, at the time, she was occasionally anything but sweet.  There was a dark side to this littlest angel.  She had a strong will, a will of iron that surrounded her like an impenetrable fortress.

That was the situation this day.  I watched and tried to hide my amusement at the sight of this small toddler, fresh out of babyhood, standing up to her grown up mommy without fear.  Fortunately, she did receive a consequence for this action.

She began to recognize her stubbornness though and observing her was an impressive lesson in what repentance should be.

One day after a particularly strong bout of disobedience, she drew her chubby little fists together and started to claw at her chest.  When asked what she was doing, she exclaimed, "I'm trying to get all that yucky stuff out of my heart and stomp on it!"  With that, she pretended to throw something down on the ground and stomp on it, hard!!!

Slowly, she began to understand the concept of disobedience and repentance.  Also, she learned that Jesus Christ loved her even though she struggled inside.  One day, during her fourth birthday party, she turned to her mother and said,  "I'm so happy that I feel like God is throwing flowers at me!"  Giggling with delight, she ran off to play, totally at ease and carefree.

As I think about sin from a toddler's perspective, I am amazed at how simple it is.  God did not make it hard to understand.  Once you are aware of sin, stop it, ask forgiveness, and try not to do it again.  Then....go play....cause God is throwing flowers of joy at you!!!

"If we confess our sins, He (God) is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  1 John 1:9
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
                                                                Have a good day!   Love, Sue

Christmas Eve Surprise

Many years ago....

At about 3:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve I walked through the door of my home after working for six hours.  I was tired and ready to sit down and relax a minute but my aching feet would have to wait.  My husband and children and I had been asked to provide special music for the holiday service at my parent's church.  The service was due to start at 5 p.m. giving us less than two hours to make the one hour and thirty-five minute trip.  I was hopeful that everyone would have heeded the instructions that I'd given that morning and be ready to leave.

As I entered the kitchen I found chaos.  My family was coming and going in various stages of undress.  One child was asking the other if he had seen his tie and my husband was trying to figure what to do about the missing button on my daughter's new dress.  My youngest son was hungry and making himself a sandwich.  I glanced at the clock and realized that we had no more than twenty-five minutes to pile into the van and be on our way.  I still had to clean up and change my clothes.  I had hoped to have time to fix my hair but that began to look like a hopeless dream.

My "General" mode overtook me and I started barking orders before I even greeted anyone.  In an effort to light a fire of urgency underneath my dragging family, my normally quiet voice began rising with each new order.  Do this...do that...grab this and get out the door.....

There was still the problem of the missing button so in the midst of speaking as fast as I possibly could and trying to remember what still had to be done before we could leave, I reached up and opened the door of the upper kitchen cabinet where my sewing kit was located.  I lifted my arm and reached out for the familiar handle at the top of the green rectangular box.  Much to my horror, as I brought my hand down I realized that it was filled with the soft fur of a dead mouse!

I threw that horrible, horrible thing out of my hand as fast as I could and began to realize that the very loud screaming resounding in the kitchen was coming from me!  I quickly ran to the bathroom and scrubbed my hands with soap and water.  I ran back to the kitchen screaming the whole way and began turning around and around as my family erupted with laughter.  I kept crying out and returned to the bathroom to scrub the germs off of my hands.  I didn't know how to stop the panic that threatened within me.  I hated mice but I absolutely, positively despised dead mice!!!!  Especially unexpected ones!!!

The kitchen became a very loud place as my husband and children continued to laugh hysterically at the spectacle of their usually somewhat calm wife and mother becoming totally unglued!

Finally, commonsense returned and I realized that there was no time for hysterics.  We hurried out to the van and arrived at the front door of the church as the service began.  We all looked "normal" as we calmly entered the church....But....I think it took until about noon the next day for my insides to settle down and relax.....

Years later this story still brings laughter to my husband and kids... and now also to me....

                                                                       Have a good day!   Love, Sue

P.S. Years have gone by and living in the country has given me great opportunities to conquer my fear of dead mice.  God has been faithful to give me courage!  Sometimes He allows us to face the very things that cause us great fear simply to prove to us that He is near and cares about us.  He is near to you this day.

"Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares about you."  1 Peter 5:7

Killing Mom

Super Grandma

I love my grandchildren and often try to meet both their needs and desires when they come to visit.  Usually, that means that we make a special breakfast, play a game of Skip-Bo or make a fort in the dining room. But one time, I outdid myself and entered into the "super-grandma" mode!

Gabe had just received a new spider Lego set shortly before coming to visit our house.  At seven, he was still too young to read all of the involved directions that came with the box so Sarah, his mom, lay down on the floor to help him.  Shortly, the multitude of little plastic pieces began to resemble a spider and Gabe was excited.

The lazy afternoon sun streamed through the leaded glass window above the piano creating sparkling little prisms of light.  While waiting for his mom to plan his next move, Gabe spent his time gazing at the rainbows they created.  “Look, Grandma!  Look!” he exclaimed, “You gave my spider it’s very own web!  It’s beautiful!  He’ll love to live there! Thank you, Grandma!”

I couldn’t imagine what he was talking about until I spotted it.  There in the archway between the dining room and the living room was a magnificently large and intricately beautiful spider web!

Proudly I replied,   “You’re sure welcome, Gabe!  I’m just thinking of you because I love you!!!”

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine but a broken spirit dries up the bones.”  Proverbs 17:22

Enjoy today for all it is worth!  I challenge you to look around with fresh eyes for the blessings that surround you.  They are there even in the darkest moments if we just look!   Sometimes they are hidden in spider webs!

                                                    

       Have a good day!  Love, Sue

How To Choose A Wife

One day, my grandson, Gabe rode with me to pick up some groceries at Costco.  As we were driving along he began talking about his future wife.   At seven, he had already picked out the girl he wanted to spend his life with and, since stranger things have happened, I wasn't about to belittle that claim!

 But on this day, Gabe was very concerned because his little girlfriend seemed to be paying attention to some of the other boys in their class.  As we were walking through the parking lot on our way into the store, I turned to him and told him that any girl would be crazy not to like him because he was such a wonderful and caring young man.  The sweet, shy look that he gave me in return was priceless.

We entered the massive doors of the store and began to fill the big metal cart with the supplies that I needed.   Gabe was quick to find ways to make this experience fun and by the time we left he was full of enthusiasm and eager to get back home to play with his friends.

 As we were driving back to his house I asked the question, “Gabe, what qualities do you want in a wife?"

He paused for just a second and piped up, “That she is a Christian!”

“Good answer, Gabe!  What else would be important in a wife?”

A longer pause came this time as he pondered the question.  “Well, maybe that she goes to heaven?”

“That’s kind of the same thing isn’t it?  If she is a Christian, she will go to heaven when she dies.” I replied.

He got a quizzical look on his face as he thought harder, finally beaming as he replied, “That she like me!”

We laughed and I thought about those two little statements – that she is a Christian and that she likes him.   That she – love God and love him.  Gabe had intuitively known what creates a good and solid foundation for a marriage relationship!  He had discovered at a very young age the tried and true; absolutely never fail formula for a long and healthy communion between two individual people.  I know this for a fact because Jesus Christ, in an amazing statement, boiled down all of the truths of the Old Testament into two small phrases.

He said,

“You shall love the Lord, your God, with all of your heart and soul and mind” and “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 

                                    From His instruction book – Matthew 22:37-40

         

                                                   Have a good day!  Love, Sue