Midair catch

    Yesterday I was sitting on our couch when my husband rose up from his chair and started walking towards me.  He appeared puzzled, confused, and inquisitive all at the same time.  He looked like a big cat stalking his prey, slowly creeping across the room. What was he looking at so intently?  I followed his steely gaze and saw nothing but air.  Suddenly he thrust out his arm! What?  In the split second before he clapped his hands together at the air in front of him, my focus cleared and I saw it!  There hanging by a single silken thread was a tiny spider about the size of a mosquito.  There was no  web just that tiny, lonely, little spider suspended in the middle of the room!

    It was a weird experience to go from seeing absolutely nothing to being able to see what previously had been unseen.  Just before he attacked the spider, John had called out the word "Spider!".  It was only then that I was able to squint, focus and see it.

   Last week someone I care about told me that I had done something twenty years ago that had  negatively impacted his life for that entire time.  I was truly mortified!  I hadn't known.  How could I have missed it?  It was like finally being able to focus on that seemingly invisible spider.....what had been unseen was now as plain as day!  Just like John calling out "spider" before I could actually see it, it took this person twenty years to have the courage to point out in plain English  how he had been wronged by me.  Sadly, he was right.

    Afterwards, I went on a days long journey trying to remember and understand myself at that time.  I came up with all sorts of justifications for my thoughts and actions.  I tried to give myself the benefit of the doubt and tried to minimize my sin.  Finally, after a very close and painful examination of myself, I could find no excuse.  Now, besides the original sin,  I knew that he had developed deep ruts of hurt and frustration over it.
 
   The truth is that it is always beneficial to carefully examine our lives through a microscopic lens.....to put ourselves willingly and thoughtfully into "focus". It is healthy to look clearly at our faults without trying to justify them.  Lamentations 3:40 says, "Let us examine our ways and test them.  Let us return to the Lord."
 
    I think that is the key... examine, confess, REPENT and then return to the safety of the only One who truly knows you inside out. 

                                                        Have a good day!  Love, Sue

To repent means to make a complete change of direction towards God the Almighty.  A 180 degree turn.